Preparing for Pregnancy - A Preconception Plan
When you’re planning to get pregnant—looking ahead to starting or growing your family—it’s easy to focus on the mechanics of pregnancy: nutrition, supplements, strength, and timing. While those things matter, some of the most important and often overlooked preparation happens on a deeper level.
Preparing well for pregnancy and birth involves three essential areas: personal preparation, partnership alignment, and clarifying the role of extended family. When these foundations are laid early, pregnancy often feels steadier, less reactive, and more supported—physically, emotionally, and relationally.
Personal Preparation: Clarifying Your Values and Building Inner Resilience
Before pregnancy, one of the most meaningful places to begin is with yourself. This season offers time to reflect on your beliefs, values, and hopes—work that is deeply personal and often best done individually.
Clarifying Core Values Around Pregnancy and Motherhood
Before involving a partner or family, it’s important to understand what you believe about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.
You might reflect on questions such as:
What do I believe about my body and its ability to grow and birth a baby?
What messages did I absorb growing up about pregnancy, birth, and mothering?
What do I hope pregnancy and birth will feel like—not just how they will be managed?
What values feel essential to me, and where do I feel open or flexible?
This clarity matters. When a woman knows her core values, she can share them with her partner thoughtfully and confidently. This shifts conversations from defending choices to explaining meaning—and creates space for collaboration rather than conflict.
Learning to Recognize and Regulate Stress
In addition to values clarification, preconception is an ideal time to build awareness of how stress shows up in your body and how to regulate it.
Chronic stress is associated with hormonal disruption, sleep disturbance, inflammation, and changes in glucose regulation, all of which can influence fertility and pregnancy outcomes (Glynn et al., 2018; Nepomnaschy & Flinn, 2009).
Stress signals may include muscle tension, jaw clenching, headaches, disrupted sleep, digestive changes, irritability, fatigue, or feeling “tired but wired.” Awareness is the first step toward regulation.
Supportive practices include:
Daily walking, ideally outdoors. I often recommend about two miles per day—roughly 30 minutes—which is achievable for most people and supports nervous system regulation, insulin sensitivity, and mood (Penedo & Dahn, 2005; Manders et al., 2010).
Continuing other forms of movement you already enjoy, focusing on consistency rather than intensity (ACOG, 2020).
Staying well hydrated, supporting metabolic and circulatory health.
Quiet sitting or contemplative prayer, meditation, or intentional stillness, which have been shown to lower cortisol and improve emotional regulation (Pascoe et al., 2017; Benson & Proctor, 2010).
These are foundational skills that support pregnancy, birth, and postpartum long before those seasons arrive.
Partner Preparation: Communication, Support, and Shared Environment
Once personal values and rhythms are clear, the next layer of preparation involves partnership. A partner’s support can be deeply stabilizing—especially when alignment begins before pregnancy.
Sharing Values and Navigating Fear
The preconception season is a gentle time to share your values and hopes with your partner and invite conversation.
This might sound like:
“Here’s what matters most to me as I think about pregnancy and birth.”
“These are the values I’m discovering.”
“I’d love to talk about how we can approach this together.”
It’s also important to recognize that some partners carry real fear—often shaped by family stories, past trauma, cultural messaging, or lack of exposure to physiologic birth. Fear doesn’t mean opposition; it often signals a need for understanding and reassurance.
If your partner feels anxious or resistant, preconception is an ideal time to slow down and address this together. That might include:
Open, ongoing communication rather than one-time conversations
Learning together through books, classes, or birth stories
Meeting with a trusted provider who can answer questions
Working with a therapist or counselor to explore fears in a neutral, supportive space
Supporting a partner’s process does not require surrendering your core values. Instead, it allows space for fear to be met with information, relationship safety, and trust.
Creating a Supportive Home Together
Partner support also shows up in everyday choices. Preconception is a helpful time to align on shared values around:
How you eat as a couple, focusing on nourishing, real foods
Movement and outdoor time, such as walking together
Sleep and circadian rhythms, including morning light and reduced screen time at night
Technology boundaries, especially in the evenings
Household tone, aiming for a lower-stress, emotionally safe environment
When these habits are shared, preparation becomes a way of living together rather than something one person carries alone.
Extended Family: Support Without Pressure
Extended family often cares deeply and wants to be involved, especially when a pregnancy is anticipated. Their support can be meaningful—but it’s helpful to clarify roles early.
Extended family support is often most helpful when it includes:
Emotional encouragement
Respect for boundaries and privacy
Practical help when invited
Trust in the couple’s decision-making
Support does not need to mean influence. Decisions about care, birth setting, and parenting are best made within the partnership. Clarifying this early can prevent stress later, when pregnancy naturally invites more opinions.
Preparation as a Foundation
Preparing for pregnancy isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about building a foundation—within yourself first, then within your partnership, and finally around your family structure.
When a woman is clear on her values, partners have a starting point for understanding and support, and boundaries with extended family feel easier to hold. This kind of preparation often creates a steadier, more connected beginning—not just for pregnancy and birth, but for the many transitions that follow.
A Gentle Preconception Reflection
For personal reflection:
What do I believe about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood?
What hopes do I carry for this season?
How does stress show up in my body?
What helps me feel grounded and steady?
For partners to explore together:
What beliefs or fears do we each bring into this conversation?
What does support look like to each of us?
How do we want to communicate when we’re unsure or afraid?
What kind of home environment do we want to create?
For navigating extended family:
What kind of support feels helpful?
Where do we want to set gentle boundaries?
How can we stay connected while protecting our decision-making space?
